What is your dream? What would you like to happen in your job and life? Be honest with yourself and follow these 3 steps that will give you insight into what is keeping you away from fulfilling your dreams.
In life, we have created, and still creating daily, (un)conscious rules applicable to ourselves on what we think “should be”. The rules can even be described as a to-do list or even a “I MUST DO LIST”. You know and feel very well what you have imposed on yourself to do things that you MUST do. These things cause you to have several specific constraints.
Make a list of all the things you MUST do in your life.
Ask yourself the question after every item: “Why should I? Be honest with yourself; what is the reason for you to do this?
- MUST DO item: I need to work hard (long working hours)
- Question: Why?
- Possible answer: I need to show my value that is the only way to deserve my salary. I want to do it perfectly and show my boss that I am loyal.
- MUST DO item: I need to know everything and all details.
- Question: Why?
- Possible answer: Because otherwise people will think that I’m not good enough and not well-organised.
- MUST DO item: I must have confidence that we will overcome the crisis.
- Question: Why?
- Possible answer: Because if I say that I feel insecure I will look weak.
The answers will tell you what is causing the restrictions that are blocking you.
Choose an item on your MUST DO list and reformulate it.
Reformulate what you feel you must do in the following sentence: What I really want is… that I can.. Then ask yourself the question: Why haven’t I done this yet?
- Item of your MUST DO list: I need/ MUST work hard (long working hours)
- Reformulate question: What I really want is… that I can….
- Possible answer to the reformulate question: What I really want is.. that I can work less hard
What I really want is… that I can work doubly as hard as I do now
What I really want is.. to stop working.
- Question: Why haven’t I done this yet?
- Possible answers: Because I cannot change jobs at this time of year. I am afraid that I will fail. I need to be loyal to my boss. What will my friend/partner think of this? I need to have more time as it is not the right moment.
The answers to the question: “Why haven’t you done this yet?” will always contain elements of blaming yourself, fear, choices you made based upon what other people have advised you to do and/or what you feel and think society pressures you to do.
Now you have the answers! You are at the core of an item that is blocking you from success. To fulfill your dream you need to investigate all your MUST DO items. Review the answers and see how sometimes you come up with ridiculous reasons and beliefs. You so persist with the fact that you think and feel they are realistic and true.
In the training courses I lead, I show you how you can change the way you have set your MUST DO rules and reasoning.
What you can start doing is to review all the items on your MUST DO list, using the 3 steps. Eventually you will not have any items left on your MUST DO list. This will free up the path to fulfilling all your dreams.
Create the life you want, live your life and dance into the world.
Which dream did you already fulfill? Share your comments below.
These steps are based on the life work of Louise L. Hay.